Mother's Day Thoughts

Mother's Day is always an important day for my Business and I. I love helping people with that special present. Whether it's a small child in the shop with £1.50 to spend on a seconds soap or a businessman buying a £100 selection to be sent half way round the world, I love hearing about their mums and what they mean to them. I enjoy the gifts being sent to places far and wide, taking the personal messages and hearing how much our special treats mean.

Poignantly the man, who having been adopted 40 yrs ago, chose the New Mum Bath Oil (designed for post natal but does it matter?) to take as a present when he met up with his newly found Mum thanks to the internet.

Another incident to make me feel very emotional was the customer finally pregnant after years of trying. Her Mum had spent her life savings paying for the IVF and she wanted a special way of telling her Mum that the much wanted pregnancy had finally arrived. A bottle of 'Special Grandmother' Bath Oil was sent with a hand written tag to say "thankyou". I only found out when the daughter was still buying the Bath Oil 8 years later and came in the shop with her Mum. The Grandma told me that the treasured first bottle, long since emptied, was stowed carefully in her treasure box.

This year Mother's Day has been significant for me. My children now 6 and 9 actually understand that Mother's Day is more than going out with daddy and buying a soft toy together. They made me a fantastic poster and bought me a book token, showing that they had actually thought about what I would like rather than what they liked. I think in parenting terms, that first time when you notice they are capable of seeing things from another point of view and can appreciate other peoples needs and feelings, is as prouder moment as when they first walk or say "Mummy". Read their wonderfully thoughtful poster poem below:-

M for making me happy
O for helping others
T for teaching me stuff
H for helping me
E for exiting times
R for realising (I think they meant recognising) my feelings
S for making me smile
D for giving me nice days
A for being my angel
Y for me and you

..on a more poignant note Hazel the first lady I ever employed at Potions, who used to pack your mail order parcels with me in my kitchen at home, lost her gorgeous 17 year old daughter Sarah to cancer this week. I can't start to imagine her grief and I know that Mother's Day for her and others who have lost children must be beyond anything anyone can bear. Every other sentence included news about "my girls" - they were the centre of her life. I can hardly think of any words to say to her and her husband and her other lovely daughter, who has bravely continued with her university studies throughout the devastating illness. I cannot think of how to help them at this awful time, other than to offer to muck out her horses and take a casserole round.

In sadness I find great solace in poetry and this resonates – not sure who wrote it - do any of you know?

I Do Believe

There is nothing I can do to make her come back.
There are no words I can say that can replace her words you long to hear.
There are no answers I can give that will satisfy your questions.
There is not another soul I can introduce to you that will ever replace hers.
And there is no love I can offer you that will ever replace the love you shared.

I cannot promise your broken heart will ever be complete.
I will not say that it could have been worse.
I will not deny that it was a tragedy.
I will not lie and tell you she will be back,
She never really left.

I do promise you she hears you when you speak.

I will say she loves you no matter what the distance.
I will not deny she is in a better place.
And will not lie she is waiting to greet you someday.

She is every step you take.
She is everything you do.
She is the air you breathe.
She is every beat of your heart.
She is like the wind,
you cannot see her ... but you will always feel her.

In the Academy Mother's Day brings a boost to business and for the next two weeks we are booked solidly with Mother's Day Pamper Packages. It is a sign of our times that some Mums book for themselves ("if I don’t treat myself no one else will"), others are treated by husbands and kids ( we had to ask two 17 year old boys, buying the surgery free face lift for their mum, whether they had asked their Mum in case she took it the wrong way! "Oh yes" they said "she circled it in your brochure", which they proudly showed us), but most bask in the glow of someone loving them and celebrating their status as a Mother.

In the clinic Mother's Day brings an increase in demand for holistic services too. For those who have lost their Mums, Mother's Day can be a trigger for depression and overwhelming sadness. I recommend essential oils of Cedarwood (for courgare and fortitude), Chamomile (which in the language of flowers stands for "patience in adversity"), and Green Mandarin (gently uplifting for the spirits).

Sadly not everyone has a positive relationship with their Mum and often clients describe their relationship as "complex". I think that’s a kinder and more forgiving word than difficult. Therapy is a good place to start in terms of dealing with the mix of emotions this generates. If you wish to treat yourself with essential oils then I recommend Palmarosa (cleansing for negativity), Frankincense (soothes anxiety and breaks the cycle of anxious thought) and Grapefruit (a detox for mind and body). For something made up try Detox Bath & Shower Gel (£8.99 for 200ml) or Courage Relief Balm (£4.99 for 15g).

Guilt is a feature in many of the dysfunctional relationships – guilt that they didn’t have the perfect relationship. Although the responsibility for establishing a good maternal relationship unquestionably has to rest with the adult, I am constantly amazed how many women go though life carrying the guilt that somehow the broken relationship was their fault. If I am massaging or offering an NLP treatment in these circumstances I will always use May Chang, the oil of tranquility and the antidote to guilt in aromatherapy terms. I have many clients who have had a positive result with my Divinity Natural Perfume (£19.99 for 50ml). It has low calming notes and settles the mind.

On a lighter hearted note I like the following quote on guilt. "My Mother could make anyone feel guilty. She used to receive letters of apology from people she didn’t know" (Joan Rivers).Or, talking of complexity, what about; "Blaming Mother is just a negative way of clinging on to her" (Nancy Friday, author).

Whether your relationship with your mother is one of loss (bereavement), emotional complexity or unadulterated love, I hope you had the very best Mother's Day. And, a big thanks to all of you who ordered your Mother’s Day gifts from us – thank you for shopping with us and thank you for buying British.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.
Julie

p.s. Mr RODRICK from London (some men love to research the best poss present whilst others just come into the shop and say "give us something for the missus") and several others asked what were our best selling gifts for Mums were. We are getting a bit whizzy these days with our computer so we could actually look and see and here it is:-

1) Special Mum Bath Oil (thankyou so much to the Telegraph for featuring this – who says the papers only feature big brands – it makes a big diference to small companies like us and the team here absolutely loved seeing it
2) Because You Deserve It gift box
3) Me Time Gift Box
4) Special Mummy Bath & Shower Gel with the Body Soufflé
5) Time For You Gift Box
6) New Mum Bath Oil
7) Special Grandmother Bath Oil with Heavy Duty Pain Relief Gel and a Rose & Cinnamon Soap
8) Appreciation Gift Box
9) Fatigue Relief Bath Oil with Anti-fatigue Pulse Point Balm
10) Special Occasions Collection with Someone Special Bath & Shower Gel